


She's Drowning In The Voices

by Altima



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, It's practically platonic, Jude Heartfilia's Terrible parenting, Lucy Heartfilia is having a Bad Time, Lucy Heartfilia-centirc, Lucy angst, Pre-Slash, gen - Freeform, i guess, literally everyone is a minor character tbh, parental neglect, sorry to all the wendy lovers but she's not big in this fic, with mild comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:00:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altima/pseuds/Altima
Summary: The voices are too loud for Lucy until one voice drowns them out.[Or: Lucy's been having a bad time and it catches up to her again. This time though, someone helps her through it.]
Relationships: Gray Fullbuster/Lucy Heartfilia, Jude Heartfilia & Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster & Happy & Lucy Heartfilia & Wendy Marvell & Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	She's Drowning In The Voices

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoy it!

Lucy _knows_ the others only seem lifetimes ahead of her in skill. Lucy _knows_ that her magic is different than theirs. Lucy _knows_ she shouldn’t compare herself to them. But, sometimes, the voices get to be too much.

She hears the voices, in moments where she goes in to buy a snack or two before a mission. She hears people in cafes going, “What? She’s a part of that team? They destroy everything! I’ve seen her, there’s _no way_ she could do anything like that!” She always ducks her head if someone notices her listening, they tend to say something along the lines of; “Quiet down!”; “She could hear you!”; “Dude, she’s right there!” 

She hears the voices, at times when she’s feeling the high of a mission gone well (the amount of property damage always varies). She’ll hear a scoff or a grumble of dissent from someone in the crowd saying, “Is she _really_ going to get paid for that? I bet she didn’t even _do_ anything. Those powerhouses must’ve carried her. She has to be coming along for the ride.” 

Sometimes those voices even follow her to the guild. Especially, after it spread that she was _The_ Lucy Heartfilia. She’s never been able to pinpoint _these_ voices, and after a time she just stopped trying. As she got to know the guild members more, she started getting scared of the possibility of hearing those words coming from someone she now holds dear. 

Usually, Lucy can ignore them. Sure, they sting a little, and on bad nights they circle in her mind over and over. But nobody _knows_ about it. Nobody knows how when she hears those ten seconds' worth of harsh words they bring back a childhood of not feeling like she was enough, of not _being_ enough. 

Internally, Lucy knew her emotions were here to collect their due. 

(The irony of that metaphor isn’t lost on her, the stress of having money on time? When _so_ many voices whisper about her not having a worry in the world, about her not wanting a day in her life. _Ha. Sure_.) 

It’s been a long day, and she’s tired, so, so, tired. The voices are on the brink of being at the forefront of her mind. But, for once the exhaustion is keeping the voices away. 

Lucy can tell that everyone’s down as they begin their trek back to Magnolia, from the usually cheerful Wendy to the always hyper Natsu. They fucked up their mission big time. It was supposed to be easy, (or easy for them in any case), they just had to retrieve some magical artifact from this random place and take it back to their client. 

First off, the client had _not_ told them about what they were actually facing. Stars, they didn’t even tell them _what_ the artifact _was_. Using the reasoning that they didn't want anyone to catch wind of it and take it for themselves. The artifact wasn’t old or sitting in one place. Some old-timey wizard started screeching when they appeared to take his “family heirloom” from him. Natsu could smell that the man’s scent was only recently added to the artifact, it didn’t follow his story of possessing the artifact his whole life. 

Second, when they tried to _nicely_ ask if they could take the item. The guy immediately started blasting them with seemingly the dumbest magic Lucy has ever seen. It was just different sprays of liquid from a staff. Until she realized that the liquids were enchanted to have different emotional effects. By “realized”, she means how they all noticed when the one spray made Natsu and Happy start booking it in fear. 

By the time they managed to find those two, get the guy to return everyone’s emotions to normal, and retrieve the staff from him, they were all irritated and wiped from exhaustion. Luckily, the wizard's blatant tears to them trying to disarm him gave the clue that the staff was indeed the artifact. 

Regardless, the stupid magic she was hit with made her anxiety go up to twenty notches. Even after he reversed the effects Lucy still felt jittery all over. 

As they were in town, getting supplies before continuing their way back home, one comment brought the voices rushing in. It was then when Lucy was just about to reach her boiling point, did the kettle finally get the push it needed to start whistling. It was an offhand comment made, something like, “Jobs like that are a waste of time and a waste of effort.” 

Thinking back on it, Lucy couldn’t understand why that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Just that it was. 

Despite her earlier exhaustion, the voices came pouring in. 

_A waste of time and a waste of effort? Almost like everything everyone’s said about you._

_Lucy’s not aware that she gets locked in her head when the voices start._

_Did you hear? The Heartfilia girl thinks she can make it as a wizard._

“Hey? Luce, why’d you stop?” 

_What a waste of time that one. All of her parents' hard work down the drain, at least if she married off she would've helped the man._

Lucy’s not aware as she takes a couple of steps back, murmuring under her breath. 

_Can you imagine? Abandoning your family? I wonder what that girl is doing now?_

“Lucy? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

_Why, she must be leeching off of others, just like what she did to her parents._

Lucy’s not aware that she turns tail and starts running, despite the shouts of her friends as they follow behind her. 

_Did you hear? There is a new group in Fairy Tail, so strong they rival the Thunder Legion! Nono, I’m telling you there are four crazy skilled wizards and flying cats!_

_Are you sure? I thought there was another girl?_

_Nah, I don’t count her. She doesn’t even do anything._

Lucy’s not aware that she’s trembling from head to toe, tears are blurring her vision, scratches are littering her arms and legs as she shoves through trees, and that she’s running in so many circles even Natsu’s nose is confused. 

_Did you hear? That girl from Fairy Tail, apparently she’s the girl who ran away from her home. The Heartfilia girl! She’s rich!_

_No way, who would do that? She must’ve had everything. What did she do? Take the money and scram? Wow, imagine the people she could have helped, instead, she’s off playing a wizard._

_Wasn’t she practically a princess or something? What can she even do in the real world?_

She’s not aware that she’s gasping for air, that she’s alone, or that she’s fallen to her knees. 

("We have to find her!" "Why did she even leave?" "I think she was about to cry." "Stop yammering and look, Flame Brain!" "Wanna run that by me again, Ice Princess?") 

_Lucy, I’m trying to prepare you for the real world. Not this childish- This nonsense! Don’t bother me again, unless you’re summoned._

_Can’t you see I’m busy, Lucy?_

_Lucy, this is unacceptable. There’s no way you were properly studying. Don’t come back to me until this is perfect._

_Lucy, go away. No more interruptions. Why don’t you ever listen?_

_I don’t care, Lucy! I said don’t come near me! Stop being such a- such a pest!_

_“Hey, Luce.”_

All of a sudden, the voices pause, because she knows this voice. She cherishes this voice. This pause isn’t because of the voice, but because of the person who’s attached to it. 

Her senses all come rushing back with a tidal wave. The scratches littering her skin, the feel of the dirt beneath her knees. The stiff stickiness of wet and dry tears on her face. The burn-in her lungs from running and taking in too little air. The stuffiness of cotton clouding her thoughts. The view of the crushed dirt and leaves in front of her. The feeling of calloused hands holding onto her arms. 

_“Like me, that’s perfect. Yes, breathe.”_

She hears as this voice sighs in relief. Lucy nearly panics when one of the hands leaves her arm, only for it to return to tilt her chin so she can look into deep midnight eyes. 

_“Don’t worry, it’s just me.”_ Is spoken with a crooked grin and with eyes filled with too many emotions to name. 

As she looks into his eyes and says his name, both of their hearts break a little bit more. But in a way that means healing, because she’s not alone this time. She’s not alone where she can spiral into her insecurities. Where she could drown in the voices. 

This time, when Lucy starts to cry, he can breathe too. Because she sees him. She knows he's there. This time, when she cries, it’s not just because the words are too heavy. It’s because she’s sharing her burden, and she knows he’ll be there to hold her through it. While she cries for what feels like forever, while it feels like her world’s just one step away from being locked in the dark. But she knows that’s not true because she sees him. 

And for now? That’s enough for both of them. 

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn’t decide who to make the one who finds her because my poor multi shipper heart cannot make decisions. So! I will label this ambiguous ending because the person who finds her is up to the reader. 
> 
> Afterward: 
> 
> “LUUUUUUUUCYYYYY!”
> 
> Que team Natsu dogpile on top of Lucy. 
> 
> “It’s official. I will now get trackers for each of you.”
> 
> “How would yo- AHHH run away!”
> 
> “Erza! What are you doing??”
> 
> “I will place a piece of my armor in each of you. Theoretically, if I requip you should be summoned to my location. This will require surgery, so keep still long enough for me to stab you.”
> 
> “That’s not- OKAYYY RUN NOW DEAL LATER!”
> 
> “JOKES ON YOU ICE BRAIN! I HAVE A HEAD START!”
> 
> If you liked please comment or leave a kudos! I love to hear from anyone!


End file.
